The Space Between

I love space - the feeling of endless space (the view from a mountain), the feeling of limitless space (the ocean), the feeling of nurturing space (anywhere calm and quiet). When I was searching for an apartment here, I was longing for space; not the internal dimesions or square footage of a place, but the external horizons. Somebody recommended that I find an apartment in a building close to another building so that it wouldn't get too cold in the winter. That idea made me chuckle. In any case, in the end, I found a place with a wonderful, uninterrupted view of moutains, city, and sea. Not bad.


But the feeling of being in limitless and nurturing space still escapes me here. When I uneventfully cross the checkpoint over the greenline, I somehow anticipate that I will find these feelings there. Instead, I feel like I am invading somebody else's space - I don't speak Hebrew, I don't belong to the identifying relgion, and at every turn literal and figurative signposts remind me that I am not necessarily welcomed in this space. And yet the reason I cross the check point is in search of space.

Maybe the concept of space is not physical, and is all "in my head". There's no reason for me to feel like my movements are restricted. I am relatively free to come and go wherever and whenever I choose. But not entirely. There's a famous quote, "Freedom denied one, is Freedom denied all" For now, I'm not entirely certain where to find the experience of space that is most comfortable.