Aha moments

Maybe its the Reiki meditation I've been doing lately, but yesterday I had two big "aha" moments.

The first one, while it sounds silly, was a voice that told myself, "Today, I don't have to save the world. Today, I don't have to solve all the problems of this world." I swear my shoulders dropped a good six inches. What the heck has been on my mind so much lately that I seriously think that I am in charge of saving the world.

The second one was actually slightly more significant and it went something like this, "Hey, I am not 100% responsible for my relationship with my boss! When is she going to realize that relationships are two way streets, will she ever?!" I realize I've been directing so much useless energy towards "making her happy" or "pleasing her" ..... this woman who told me that she expects "perfection" from me and nothing less. Perhaps this would be appropriate if I was a bank teller. But I am not a stepford employee, I am human. And I am not going to risk my health and my wonderful relationship for my son to strive to somehow win her praise of some performance expectation that is beyond my human reach. She also said this week that she wants all her staff working at 150% - surprising to believe that she just returned from a two week management/leadership training.

Both of these self-revelations have left me with a much less anxious internal dialogue. Decisions need to be made. Now is that time. And actions need to be taken. The time is coming.

Cars and bling, bling

Somebody told me once that Palestinians observe only three things when meeting a stranger and sizing them up - their shoes, their watch, and their car. I think I would pass the acceptable line in the first two categories, but as for the third - forget it! I've written here before about my piece of cr@& car. Yesterday the annual registration on it officially expired requiring me to figure out how to officially interact with Israeli bureaucracy once again.

As I've learned is the case with most foreigners who unofficially live in the West Bank (that is, unofficially to Israeli officials who we convince that we live on the other side of the green line), the anticipatory anxiety involved with dealing with Israeli officials is often much greater than the anxiety bore by the actual interaction. So was my case today with my car registration.

First, I had to find a post office to pay my registration fee. No easy task in a city where twisting, one-way streets suddenly lead to unmarked dead ends. The task was made easier when I was directed to a shopping mall just across the separation wall. The bank had the "take a number" customer service method which usually makes things organized, but the number machine was broken. Its actually a typical experience of mine with Israeli bureaucracy - its slightly disorganized and broke. After a 30 minute wait (people do everything from pay car fees to electric bills to actually send a piece of mail at the post office), I was off to the testing center.

The testing center is a fairly new facility located in the shadows of the separation wall specifically to serve Israeli Arabs, it actually surprised me that Israel would make it this easy, but it was. The Israeli Arab workers took pity on me (since we could not communicate in Hebrew or Arabic, as my car vocabulary in Arabic is quite limited), and did everything they could to get my car to pass the tests. My registration was officially approved, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief to realize I did not have to do this for at least another 12 months!